Something I Need
by Nckmillr
Summary: A selection of song lyrics that describe Barney and Robin's relationship. Most chapters are short, and all of them are one shots; they don't follow any chronological order. Enjoy!
1. You build your heart of plastic

_"You build your heart of plastic, you're cynical and sarcastic, and end up in the corner on your own. 'Cause I love to feel loved, but I can't stand the rejection. I hide behind my jokes as a form of protection." - The Wrong Direction by_ **_Passenger_**

* * *

Barney was kind. His greatest fear was people finding this out. But Robin had.  
She knew soon after they met, for there had been several occasions where Barney's heart shined through all his pretenses. Robin knew he liked to keep himself guarded. This was obvious through all his plays and his constant need to crack a joke. Barney used these things as armor like Robin used her tough nature and her scotch.  
Behind these false walls, Barney had the kindest heart Robin had ever seen. He flew all the way to San Francisco to bring Lily back. He got hit by a bus on his way to make things right with Ted. He drove Robin out to her aunt's farm so that she wouldn't have to say goodbye to her dogs alone.  
_She would never,_ Robin thought, _understand why he didn't want others to see this side of him. _  
Robin didn't realize it was for the same reason that she kept her own soft side hidden.  
They were both afraid. Her and Barney had damaged hearts. They'd been mangled long ago, back when they were kids, by their fathers. And there had been times that they'd been crushed since.  
But eventually they would learn to heal together.


	2. I want so much to open your eyes

_"I want so much to open your eyes, cause I need you to look into mine." - OpenYour Eyes by __**Snow Patrol**_

* * *

Barney didn't know when he officially decided to propose. He just knew that he wanted Robin. He needed to try, one last time, for her. A part of him was sure she'd say yes, but that same side knew that it had to be big. For Robin to agree to marry him, Barney would have to show her how greatly he'd changed.  
For weeks, he would stay up at night, awake until the early morning, scheming. With each day passing, Barney was losing confidence in his plan. A simple 'Will you marry me?' wouldn't work on Robin. She would never just up and get engaged to him after the events of the last year. He had to _show_ her that she needed him, too.  
It was during one of his sleepless nights that Barney had a breakthrough.  
He shot up in his bed, calling out "The Robin!" to his empty bedroom. He scrambled to grab his shoes and a suit to put on. He gave a half-hearted glance to the clock before bolting out the front door, with little to no concern that it was past three in the morning. He hailed a cab and was at Ted's soon after, tossing a fifty at the driver and hurrying away without waiting for change.  
Barney felt for the spare key he had in his pocket, unlocking the door and fast-walking into Ted's room. "Ted!" Barney yelled, as his friend burst awake , nearly falling off the bed. Immediately, he was fumbling for something to defend himself with, before seeing that it was only Barney.  
Ted, dazed from sleep, scowled at his alarm clock. "Barney, what the hell?"  
"I need your calligraphy set." Barney requested, glancing around the room for it. "Now would be nice." He added, with a bit of emphasis.  
Ted narrowed his eyes at him, bewildered. "At three thirty in the morning? Why?"  
Barney sighed and began searching the room. "I was about to fall asleep when I got the best idea for a play." He opened Ted's nightstand. "It's a real winner, some of my best work, I think." Barney added as an afterthought, speaking quickly.  
Ted ran a hand over his face. "Yeah. Right." He turned back on his side, pulling the cover's over himself as he spoke. "The set's on the coffee table, just- just shut the door on your way out, okay?"  
Barney nodded, said a sincere "Thanks, bro.", and exited the room. He swiped the set on his way out of the apartment, smiling to himself.  
Back at his own place, nearly four in the morning now, Barney flicked on the lights and laid out the paper and ink on the kitchen counter. Carefully, he wrote a title across the page. _The Robin._


	3. And did not go and shout it

_"And did not go and shout it when you walked into the room." - I Think I Love You by __**the Partridge Family**_

* * *

Barney threw open the door to Ted's apartment. "Ted!" He called, looking around for his bro. "I have to tell you the truth." He shut the door, and, not seeing Ted in the living room, turned for the kitchen. "I'm in love with-" _Robin_. She was here. Barney cut himself off immediately, finishing his confession with "Tacooos."  
Robin made a face, laughed a little. "What are you doing?" Barney asked, to change the subject. He hit himself internally. "I'm taking out the triz-ash" Robin said, making her way to the door with a garbage bag in hand.  
Barney ran a finger along the couch, trying not to make eye contact. Robin opened the front door, but turned back. "If you're, uh, looking for Ted, he left." She tossed the bag down in the hall. Barney nodded. Robin looked back to him, and he dropped his gaze back to the chair.  
"And our little arrangement..." Robin took a step near him. It was casual, probably absentminded, but Barney's heart sped up the slightest amount. "is over. By the way."  
He struggled with a reaction. "Really? That's awes-s-ful."  
Robin gave him a funny look. "Awesful?"  
"Yeah..." Barney feigned a sympathetic look and dragged out his words. "It's just awesful."  
Robin tilted her head, giving Barney another strange glance. "What happened?" He asked, trying to sound nonchalant.  
"Ah, he just insisted." Robin crossed her arms. "He said he couldn't do it anymore because someone's gonna get hurt." Her tone took on a sarcastic note, and Barney raised his eyebrows. He dropped his head yet again. "I think we all know who he meant by that." Robin continued, and Barney met her eyes again, hesitant. Ted told her, he thought immediately.  
Barney walked, quickly, to the kitchen. "Do we?" He opened the fridge, because it was something to do.  
"Isn't it obvious?"  
A scared expression crossed Barney's face, but it quickly became a questioning one. "Is it?"  
"_Yeah_." Robin insisted, surprised it was taking him so long to catch on. "It's Ted."  
Barney made a noise somewhere between a sigh of relief and 'aha'. He nodded, looking at the beer he'd grabbed.  
"You know what a romantic he is." Robin made a wide-eyed expression. "He can't separate the physical from the emotional." Barney leaned against the door frame of the kitchen, watching her intently. Robin wrinkled up her nose. "He's all like-"  
"I love you." Barney told her. He didn't move, didn't dare blink. Robin met his gaze. "Exactly."  
Barney kept his eyes on her. "He's not like you, you know?" He wanted desperately to say something, object, tell her what he really meant. But he kept quiet.  
"Besides, we're friends." Robin went on, oblivious. She turned away, speaking with her hands. "I don't want to screw that up by getting involved." With a sudden movement, she was facing Barney again. "...Dating friends never works out."  
Barney had his mouth agape, only realizing it now. He closed it, nodding along. That was all he could do. His will to object had left him. _She was probably right, anyway._  
"So, uh..." Robin thought for a moment, pacing back towards Barney. "You wanna get a taco?"  
"Taco?" He repeated, bewildered. Robin gave a confused look. "You love them, remember?"  
Another nod. "Right." He raised his bottle to her awkwardly, shifting away from his leaning position. "Heh." Barney chuckled, to cover up how he felt.  
Robin smiled. "Come on, I'm hungry." She urged, walking towards the door again.  
With a sip of his beer, Barney watched her walk out, leaving the door open behind her. He exhaled, disappointment registering with him now. He placed the drink down on the table beside him. Barney gave himself a second to adjust his expression, and followed Robin out of the apartment.


	4. Last night I think I drank too much

_"Last night I think I drank too much. Call it our temporary crutch." - Something I Need by __**One Republic**_

* * *

It's late (or early, depending on how you look at it) and they're both aware that Barney should have left hours ago. In the back of his mind, Barney recalls the rule Ted's mother loved to repeat; _Nothing good happens after 2AM._  
But Robin's couch is _so_ comfortable, and her Sandcastles in the Sand video is _so_ funny, and they've had _so_ much to drink.  
So he stays. And they replay the video. And Robin goes to grab another bottle of Scotch.  
It's not long, maybe a few minutes, after Robin returns with the drink that Barney starts looking at her. Of course, he'd looked before. When she'd get up to get the next round at MacLaren's, or when the shirt she was wearing was particularly low-cut- but never when they were alone like this; with so little space between them and so many empty bottles of scotch in them both.  
Barney laughs, watching her, and Robin begins to giggle as well, not taking her eyes off the screen in front of them.  
It's not until the video has replayed two more times that Barney reaches out for her. Robin, feeling his hand on her arm, turns to him, mouth open to ask a question. Before any words come out, though, Barney is bringing her face towards his, and there's no objection on Robin's part. Quite the opposite, as she grasps his back to pull him closer. Simultaneously, Barney cradles Robin's face in his left hand, while his right slides up her leg.  
There's no objection at this point, either. Both of them are too focused on the other to realize what they were doing themselves. Robin wasn't thinking about how this would affect their friendship, but rather how Barney was a hell of a kisser. Barney, just the same, didn't consider how it would hurt Ted. He was too intent on Robin's lips.


	5. Staring at the bottom of your glass

**AN: Thanks so much for all the wonderful reviews! They made me smile like an idiot (:**

_"Staring at the bottom of your glass, hoping one day you'll make a dream last." - Let Her Go by __**Passenger**_

* * *

Barney settled into the gang's usual booth, sipping the scotch he had ordered. From his pocket, he pulls out the list that had been his focus for the past few days. "200." He mused to himself, folding and ripping the paper. He tossed the scraps onto the table. "Now what?"  
Lifting the glass back to his lips, Barney caught sight of Robin standing at the bar. _Robin_.  
She was looking down, inspecting a menu. Another beat passed, and she glanced up to see him staring. Barney struggled to contain the grin that threatened to expose him._ It's just Robin,_ he reminded himself, as she gave a smile. _"Hey!"_ She mouthed, making her way over.  
Barney averted his gaze, the smile winning out as Robin scooted into the seat across from him.


	6. This is the last time I'm asking you

_"This is the last time I'm asking you this." - The Last Time by __**Taylor Swift ft. Gary Lightbody**_

* * *

"Is that what you want?"  
The question hits Robin square in the face. Because yes, of course it is. She wants to be with Barney. She doesn't want anyone else to have him. All she wants to do is run up there and take him away. But she can't.  
"No." Robin said, stoutly. "I don't. I can't keep making..." she tried to keep a level voice, but it broke despite herself. "An ass of myself." She glanced at Ted before turning her eyes back forward. He watched her with a pained expression.  
"Well. A word in defense of making an ass of yourself," Ted said, his voice strained. "It's underrated. Eight years ago- I made an _ass_ of myself chasing after you, and...I've made an ass of myself chasing after you a bunch of times since then." Robin felt her heart twinge with something like guilt. Her eyes pricked with tears. "But I have no regrets."  
Her and Ted stared at each other as he paused. It was a raw moment, both thinking what they couldn't say. "Because it led to something I wouldn't trade for the world," Ted continued. "It led...to you being my friend."  
Robin tilted her head and gave a sad smile. "So as your friend...and a leading expert in the field of making an ass of yourself-" Robin let out a breathy laugh. "I say to you, from the heart," He laid a hand to his chest. Ted's voice came out as a whisper now. "_Get the hell out of this car_."  
There it was. Robin's vision blurred from her watery eyes, but she focused on Ted's face.  
She grasped his hand. "But, Ted...Your big night," She mumbled, weepy, and reached to adjust his bow tie. The phrase "an ass of myself" ran through her mind. She was a terrible friend.  
Ted took a moment to watch her. He shook his head minisculely. "It's just a building."  
Despite her guilt about leaving Ted, Robin didn't doubt it was what she had to do. She had to try, this final time, for Barney. _Because_... Ted's voice ran through her head. _You're in love with him._  
With a deep breath, Robin collected herself and her coat. One last, remorseful glance, and Robin exited the limousine.  
She walked straight into the building, pulling her coat on as she went. No time to hesitate, she knew, as she pressed the elevator button. It was now or never.  
Robin watched the arrow light up, and the doors slide open. She entered resolutely, her breathing shallow. She hit the button and was going up. The door to the roof was before her a moment later. With another inhale, exhale, a nod, Robin pushed through.


	7. Have you lost your mind

_"Have you lost your mind or has she taken all of yours, too?"_ - _She's Got You High_ _by __**Mumm-Ra**_

* * *

Barney stopped at the one way sign, keeling over. His breaths came out in quick gasps. "I made it." he realized aloud, glancing at the entrance to St. Anthony's Hospital.  
He began to put his blazer back on as he stepped into the street, eyes staring ahead. He looked to his right side and suddenly felt a great force hit him. His bones snapped as Barney felt his skin being rubbed raw against the pavement.  
The next thing Barney was conscious of was the hospital bed. Slowly, he took in his surroundings. Bright lighting, a stiff pillow, and Ted.  
_Ted_. Barney opened his eyes fully, and could now see that he wasn't alone. Lily, Marshall, and Robin were watching him as well. Immediately, they all talked over each other. Barney avoided all their gazes until it was quiet again. Eventually, Ted spoke up.  
"Dude, I..." He looked misty eyed. "I can't believe you ran all the way up here."  
Barney let his ego get the best of him at first, wanting to avoid an apology. He made a lame excuse about a business meeting, rolling his eyes. "If you're here to come crawling back," Barney continued, "Just save it. I'm doing awesome without you."  
He kept up the front for a little longer, cracking a few jokes. "Barney," Ted said at last. "You, uh, you could've died."  
Barney, taken aback, dropped his voice to a whisper. "Ted, I'm sorry I broke the Bro Code."  
The next half hour was mushy and embarrassing, the gang agreeing to never speak of it again.  
Later, when Robin had excused herself and Ted had gone to make up with Stella, Marshall spoke. "Hey, uh, Ted said that right before the accident, his life flashed before his eyes. You know, of all the stuff he loves. Did that happen to you?"  
Barney went to answer, but Lily talked over him. "Oh, yeah, I know what he saw; _boobs_."  
"Scotch." Marshall added as Robin returned.  
"Money."  
"Suits!"  
"A suit of _money_."  
"A suit of boobs!"  
Robin laughed along with Marshall and Lily at their game. Barney watched her, unnoticed, as a memory flooded back to him.  
Just as the bus pummeled into him, Barney saw her. Robin smoking a cigar beside him. Robin and him playing laser tag. Holding Robin as she cried over Simon. Robin and him kissing as _Sandcastles in the Sand_ played on. Robin seated across from him in the booth. Flickers of their time at Maclaren's, random moments where she would smile or roll her eyes and laugh at something he said. It rushes at him in the span of a second, striking him with a force equal to the bus.  
As he comes back to the present, Marshall is still chuckling. "I guess that's pretty much everything you love, right?" He asks Barney.  
Still staring at Robin, almost in a trance, Barney grins. As she meets his gaze, he looks away. "Yeah." He watches the space before him, smiling. "Pretty much."


	8. Can't deny you're worth it

_"It's not a walk in the park to love each other. But when our fingers interlock, can't deny you're worth it."_ _- Still Into You by __**Paramore**_

* * *

Barney had still manipulated her. He had still known the hell she'd gone through and let her go it alone. Could she really forgive that?  
She recalled their worst times; when they first broke up, the time Barney pulled the Scuba diver play, when Barney began dating Nora. The night he cheated on Nora. When they agreed to end their relationships for each other, though Robin couldn't hold up her side of the deal. The pregnancy scare.  
The day Barney and Quinn got engaged.  
But, looking at him, Robin also thought of the good times.  
She remembered their first kiss, that first night together. When they kissed on Ted's birthday. Their secret summer. The day they'd finally defined their relationship. Their almost-kiss after that hurricane. The evening at Splitzville. Their drunken kiss a few weeks ago.  
Robin realized that, in spite of what a mess they had been, they were also kind of great together. They were best friends, and they worked in a way that none of their other relationships had. Her and Barney had fun; they had teasing and competitive nature and sexiness. In the back of her mind, she heard Lily's voice call it _chemistry._ They also had something honest and difficult. _Really difficult,_ Robin thought, _but worth the trouble._  
Yes, she could forgive Barney for the last month. Hell, she could forgive him for the last eight years. She would forgive anything to be with him again. A smile crept onto her face. "Yes." she agreed, sure of herself. She watched Barney's face light up. He stood and pulled her to him immediately, capturing her lips. They melted into each other, Barney pulling away too soon. Robin tried to keep the kiss going, but then opened her eyes to see Barney holding out the ring. She lifted her left hand, understanding, and he slid it onto her fourth finger.


	9. We got all the spark

_"We got all the spark to set this place on fire."_ _- Mad Love by __**Neon Trees**_

* * *

_I told him that Ted would be home early,_ Robin fumed. Barney pulled her closer as they entered his apartment. His tie was askew, and his shirt buttoned up messily. She knew that she looked sloppy, as well, her hair windblown from running down the fire escape. The two of them had just narrowly avoided a run-in with Ted.  
Still, Robin had to hand it to Barney, she thought, as they fell back onto the couch. She never dreamed they would manage to keep this secret from their friends for so long.  
With hurried hands, Robin undid the few buttons on Barney's shirt that weren't already undone. _But he was right,_ she realized. Both about keeping the secret, _and_, Robin thought pleasantly, _elaborate lies do make this whole thing..._  
Barney trailed kisses down her neck, popping a button open on her shirt now. Robin hummed with approval. _Much hotter._


	10. I know I'm drunk but I'll say the words

_"And I know that I'm drunk but I'll say the words, and she'll listen this time even though they're slurred." - Nothing, __**the Script**_

* * *

Barney walked beside Robin, keeping his eyes on her as she babbled drunkenly. It was really cute, if he was being honest, but Barney knew he had to focus. Step two of the Robin was being put into play. He knew it'd be a matter of seconds before he had to make his move- but for the moment, he stumbled along with Robin, laughing. Barney took a gulp from the flask she passed to him, considering his options.  
He had to catch her off guard. It had to be timed just right so that she'd reject him.  
Robin stopped suddenly, turning to him with a big smile. "I had a fun time tonight, though," she slurred. He couldn't stop looking at her.  
"Me too." he said sincerely. Robin giggled, and Barney paused for effect. "I always have fun with you." he told her, not even thinking as the words rolled off his tongue.  
Now, Barney thought, was his chance. He moved quickly, leaning in and placing his hand at the back of Robin's head in the same moment. She responded immediately, resting a hand on the lapels of his suit. It was their first kiss in a long time. Barney felt the deja vu, recalling other kisses; besides the fact that Robin tasted of cheap vodka, everything was familiar.  
Her fingers were in his hair, touching the base of his neck. Barney knew this wasn't part of the plan, but, kissing her like this, he didn't quite care.  
Robin dropped her hand to his shoulder, gripping at him, kissing him with a sort of fervor. And then she pushed him away.  
She stuttered, reeling for an excuse, blinking rapidly. With a deep breath, Robin met Barney's gaze. "We can't...we can't do this." she tells him. Barney, playing the part, nods along. "This can't happen." Robin continues, "I've got to go..." she walks away, hands shaking. Barney mumbles a faint "wait," to keep up appearances, but she's already gone. Watching her retreating back, Barney feels a pang and thinks that maybe he's not acting much at all.


End file.
